Old friend

Hello old friend,
I wondered when
I would see you again.
When you would slip that cloak
around my shoulders
and place that hood around my head
You were once my constant companion
a quiet shadow in the darkness
that crept upon me while I slept
kept close watch while I wept
and yet you were cold comfort
Your silence speaks volumes
You have no words to offer
there is nought in your coffer
except a chill emptiness
and this is your legacy
You are never there when life is good
You abandon me when I’m in love
but when love is dead and I’m alone
you invade my home
take me to your bed
take my broken heart
and shred it
My tears to you are diamonds
and my pain to you a drug
so here you are old friend
no welcoming hug
just a cold shoulder
and a collecting cup
for me to fill

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Old friend

Hello old friend,
I wondered when
I would see you again.
When you would slip that cloak
around my shoulders
and place that hood around my head
You were once my constant companion
a quiet shadow in the darkness
that crept upon me while I slept
kept close watch while I wept
and yet you were cold comfort
Your silence speaks volumes
You have no words to offer
there is nought in your coffer
except a chill emptiness
and this is your legacy
You are never there when life is good
You abandon me when I’m in love
but when love is dead and I’m alone
you invade my home
take me to your bed
take my broken heart
and shred it
My tears to you are diamonds
and my pain to you a drug
so here you are old friend
no welcoming hug
just a cold shoulder
and a collecting cup
for me to fill

Sandstone

I feel worn and weathered
World weary
Mind tired of the daily grind
and constant input of information
that feeds corruption
and I become sandstone
in a polluted sea
dirty and diminishedI feel the pull of the mountains
whose strength and stature
remind me to stand tall
not bowed by the weight of it all

I seek stillness in the lake
where I can sit and scry
in the pure, chill reflection
confront self with self
perceived and believed
against actual and factual
gather my thoughts
and cast my demons
back into the hell of doubt
and self deceipt
dispel my fears
dry my tears
and ease my broken heart

I root myself in nature
seek guidance from the ancestors
whose bones are in the dust
and foundations of the land
upon which I stand
and commune with their spirits

As my soul soars
where the eagle nests
high upon the crag
I feel life instead of death
and with each breath
I feel calm and blessed
and ready to face the stress
of tomorrow

 

A patch of silver spandex

1984
There was no big brother
just big hair and eyeliner
painted nails and naked lips
bullet belt balanced around hips
over silver spandex trousers
a second skin
that my sister had taken in
stretched like ballerina tights
I was ready
it was Saturday night

1984
Twisted Sister, Lita Ford
W.A.S.P., Wrathchild
Bands that, at the time,
blew my mind
Scoured my soul raw
left me bleeding
and wanting more
and I wore the silver spandex
like a mask
to hide the shy child
inside

1984
the first time I almost died
I was nineteen
had my own place
put on a brave face
but inside I was already broken
had been for years
but I was good at
faking my emotions
holding back the tears

1984
Saturday night
Newcastle Mayfair
where Chris de Burgh
was high on emotion
and I was just high
on Hanoi Rocks
headbanging
instead of banging my head
off the wall

1984
The year music took me
and never let go
the only thing
that could quieten my soul
was vinyl at full volume
as I blow dried my hair
upside down
got ready to go into town
painted nails and naked lips
bullet belt balanced around my hips
over silver spandex trousers
a second skin
that my sister had taken in
stretched like ballerina tights
it was Saturday night

Time out

Sometimes in the hurry scurry

we lose track of ourselves

and forget to take time out

 

We needs to sit sometimes

and appreciate the world

that spreads itself around us

 

We are constantly bombarded

by the ugliness and hatred

and we forget about the beauty

 

We hear the falling bombs

and screaming souls

which drowns out the birdsong

 

Today I paused and took time out

sat in the sunshine by the sea

and basked for a moment in the peace

 

I felt my soul become cleansed

and my heart lightened

by the beauty around me

Sticks and stones

Sticks and stones
and bits of bone
Witchdoctors
and wise old crones
Cartomancy and scrying glass
Future seen from ancient past
From druidry to gypsy queens
Messages from the unseen
Ecstacy in shamanic dance
Dreamwalking in shamanic trance
Witches and their familiar creatures
Pagans and shamans and spirit teachers
Sticks and stones
and bits of bone
Witchdoctors
and wise old crones

Today

Today my tears sting like nettles
Sadness settles upon my shoulders
saps my strength
leaves me listless, lifeless
sobbing like a stricken child

Today is a day to retreat from the turmoil
to take a break from the horror
seek shelter from the shitstorm
of stupidity and lies
that encourage the gloom
and negativity to rise
and catch in my throat like bile
suffocating
strangulating

Today I want to be an island
beyond the clutches of clawing, cloying
capitalism

Today I want to weep out the poison
envelop the venom
and allow the shadows that
ensnare and eviscerate my soul
to dissipate and leave me whole